The Call

starting from the beginning — when I first heard about the World Race I was a junior in high school. Every Thursday we had a school chapel service. These usually included some worship songs & a speaker. This time it just so happened to be a who was there to speak to us about this thing called the World Race and her journey on it. So my interest was sparked!

 

so there ya go! Now that you have a little back story let me tell you more…

 

Fast forward to senior year. college decisions! Going to a college prep. school the pressure was on going to college, obviously. & really the school I went to excelled in that! Honestly, I couldn’t have been more prepared for college! But I was focusing on the complete wrong thing. My problem wasn’t what school I wanted to attend next fall. It was if I even really wanted to go. I kept having this idea of missionary work pulling on my heart, but I was always finding a way to push it aside. needless to say… I got caught up. Seeing all the college posts on social media about greek life, game days, dorm shopping, finally being on your own! It all sounded SO exciting. And i thought to myself ” is that something you really want to miss?” & of course my answer was “NO.” so I decided to take the college route. 

 

I took it & RAN with it. 

 

I had this idea in my head that freshman year was MY YEAR. (ya know like every 18 yr old does.) I was in one of my favorite cities going to the big SEC school I convinced myself I always wanted to go to. Found the best roommate. My dorm room was decorated pretty & pink. I pledged my dream sisterhood. My classes were not any harder than I expected them to be. I found some great friends. got connected in an awesome church. life was good. Not even kidding…I thought i was in a dream! Everything seemed to be falling right into place. & for the first couple months. It really was perfect. I was living what I thought was “THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE.” & in some cases people would have killed for my first semester. 

 

So you’re probably wondering… well then what happened?? 

 

halfway through my “perfect semester,” things started being not so perfect for me anymore. I realized that I wasn’t happy, like at all. This unhappiness was due to many reasons but to sum it all up – i was mentally & emotionally drained. I attended a small group every Tuesday night and slowly began to see that the only time I truly was happy & enjoyed being around others was that one hour of small group out of the entire week. I was going through a lot of confusion, prayer, realization and waiting, but mostly fear & anxiety. I was so scared that I spent all this time at school doing the “wrong” thing. I spent time pursuing my plan rather than God’s plan. As I kept feeling that tug on my heart to do missionary work, I was becoming more broken down. There was a battle between my heart & mind. My mind always came out victorious. However,  I finally decided to share a little bit of what was going on with my parents. Simply just telling them where my head was at. (we weren’t made to go through life alone, so don’t try!) 

 

Fast forward a little more– My decision was set! Again, having to battle the thoughts in my head, it took A LOT for me to work up the courage to actually say “ I withdrew from school and i’m moving back home.” The thought of having to tell others haunted me. That was a battle in itself & honestly a story for a different day. Thankfully, I got over that, and now I’m here! More ready than ever to take on what the Lord has in store for me!

 

Thanks for reading. XO ~dev